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Best Golf Caddy Remarks #10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?" #9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth." #8 Golfer: "Do you...

LIFE EXPLAINED On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other...

A little Newfie Love A Newfie - who was a little man - was sitting at a bar when this huge, burly American guy walks in. As he passes the Newfie, he hits him on the neck knocking him to the floor. The big, burly American says, "That's a karate chop from Korea." Well, the Newfie gets back...

A bunch of Saddam Hussein's body doubles ... A bunch of Saddam Hussein's body doubles were waiting in a lounge when they heard on the news that Saddam's palace had been bombed. One of Saddam's advisors called them and said he had good news and bad news. The doubles said they wanted the good...

Government Tactics The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They...

George Bush is so stupid... George Bush is so stupid, he went to a concert and waved to Stevie Wonder.

I'm a Photographer, Not a... A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small...

Blonde Secretary's Memo to her Boss TO: Boss FROM: Blondie RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all...

A blonde comes home and finds her mom dead ... A blonde comes home and finds her mom dead on the floor. But she goes to work, and starts crying and her boss asks, "What's wrong?" She says, "Well, my mom died." He told her to go home but she said, "No, I'll be fine." About an hour later...

Job Fair A jock and a geek applying for the same job. The boss said, "Boys, you need to take a test before you can get this job." So they took the test and the next day they came back to see who the boss chose. "Well," he said, "Both of you got the same score except I'm going to choose the...

The Hamster Show A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and singing "Tuff Enuff" by the Fabulous Thunderbirds. "That IS amazing!" says the...

A guy decides to buy a new... A guy decides to buy a new ceiling fan, but the salesman says, "Well I'm all out of tunafish." So the guy says louder, "I want a ceiling fan." But the salesman says, "I told you, I'm all out of tunafish." The guy frustrated, yells, "I WANT A CEILING FAN!"...

24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator... 1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!" 2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly. 3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got...

The golf ball A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?" "It's a special golf ball," says the salesman...

Did anyone see ch news tonight about the renaming of the mountain arena. It is going to be named after dave andreychuk. The funny thing is they also said that dave will not know untill that time. So if you are going to suprise someone Whould you put it on the 6 o'clock new??? :inn: