>> Subject: How To Drive in Toronto
>
> 1. You must first learn to pronounce the city's name:
> it is T.O.
>
> 2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon.
> The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00p.m. Friday's rush hour
> starts Thursday morning.
>
> 3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is
> 130 km/h. On the 401 or 407, your speed is expected to
> match the highway number. Anything less is considered
> "wussy."
>
>
>
> 4. Forget all traffic rules you learned elsewhere;
> T.O. has its own version of traffic rules. For
> example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first
> at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
> go second. However, in Oakville, SUV-driving,
> cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
>
>
>
> 5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be
> rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
>
>
> 6. Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's
> another offence that can get you shot.
>
>
> 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in
> all of T.O. and, in fact, the GTA. Detour barrels are
> moved around for your entertainment pleasure during
> the middle of the night to make the next day's driving
> a bit more exciting.
>
>
> 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks,
> skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber
> neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other
> road kill and the coyotes feeding on any of these
> items.
>
>
> 9. MapQuest does not work in T.O. -- none of the roads
> are where they say they are or go where they say they
> do, and all freeway off- and on-ramps are moved each
> night.
>
>
> 10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave
> them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it
> has been "accidentally activated."
>
>
> 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 130
> km/h in a 100 zone, you are considered a road hazard
> and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return
> the flip, you'll be shot.
>
>
> 12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave
> Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon
> Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday
> for anything on Monday morning.
>
> 1. You must first learn to pronounce the city's name:
> it is T.O.
>
> 2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon.
> The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00p.m. Friday's rush hour
> starts Thursday morning.
>
> 3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is
> 130 km/h. On the 401 or 407, your speed is expected to
> match the highway number. Anything less is considered
> "wussy."
>
>
>
> 4. Forget all traffic rules you learned elsewhere;
> T.O. has its own version of traffic rules. For
> example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first
> at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
> go second. However, in Oakville, SUV-driving,
> cellphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
>
>
>
> 5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be
> rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
>
>
> 6. Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's
> another offence that can get you shot.
>
>
> 7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in
> all of T.O. and, in fact, the GTA. Detour barrels are
> moved around for your entertainment pleasure during
> the middle of the night to make the next day's driving
> a bit more exciting.
>
>
> 8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks,
> skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber
> neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other
> road kill and the coyotes feeding on any of these
> items.
>
>
> 9. MapQuest does not work in T.O. -- none of the roads
> are where they say they are or go where they say they
> do, and all freeway off- and on-ramps are moved each
> night.
>
>
> 10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave
> them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it
> has been "accidentally activated."
>
>
> 11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 130
> km/h in a 100 zone, you are considered a road hazard
> and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return
> the flip, you'll be shot.
>
>
> 12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave
> Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon
> Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday
> for anything on Monday morning.