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    Nursing Home Talent Show

    This is so funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jksJceAJdM8
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    Catholic shampoo

    Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, " wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?" the second nun answered, "indeed it would, sister, but i would not feel comfortable buying beer, since i am...
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    Scotland?

    I was in a pub on Saturday night. Had a few.... I noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Scotland?" One of them chirped: "It's WALES you friggin' idiot!" So, I immediately apologized and said..., "Sorry, are you two...
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    Parkinsons or Alzheimer's?

    An older Newfoundland man was asked, "At your ripe old age, what would you prefer to get if it hit you, Parkinsons or Alzheimer's?" The Newfie replied: "Definitely Parkinsons. Better to spill half an ounce of Captain Morgan’s rum , than to forget where you keep the darn bottle!!"
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    Yellow Jackets

    I have a nest that are going under the part that goes into the house to the main electrical box. I'm not sure if they are in the box on the inside since I can't climb stairs anymore. I haven't had any on the main floor flying around thank goodness. I was told by a friend not to use the nest...
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    The Old Scotsman

    After living in the remote countryside of Scotland all his life, an old Scotsman decided it was time to visit Dundee . In one of the stores, he picked up a mirror and looked into it. Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image staring back at him. 'How 'bout that! he...
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    New Banner

    That new banner looks great. :tbu:
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    Internet Usage

    Imagine a world where you could be dragged to court and receive a large fine for simply clicking on the wrong link, where service providers would hand over information about your online activities without privacy safeguards, and where online content could be removed by big media conglomerates at...
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    Dear Tech Support

    Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications,which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other...
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    The Examination

    While examining his lady patient, the doctor tells her: "Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are fine. Now let me see that little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady started taking off her clothes Doctor, stopping her: "No! No! Please put on your clothes. I meant show...
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    Women's Weight

    With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the...
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    Old Folks Poem

    A row of bottles on my shelf Caused me to analyze myself. One yellow pill I have to pop Goes to my heart so it won't stop. A little white one that I take Goes to my hands so they won't shake. The blue ones that I use a lot Tell me I'm happy when I'm not. The purple pill goes to my brain And...
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    What a Carver

    http://www.slideboom.com/presentations/518725/tree_trunck_artistry_Zoly_TB What a talented man.
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    The Pearly Gates

    A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates. She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling...
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    Save Canada's Lighthouses Petition

    Parks Canada says it expects about 350 lighthouses will be nominated to receive heritage designations, including the famous Peggys Cove lighthouse in Nova Scotia. Norman Shields, the manager of the heritage lighthouse program, said the department has received petitions to protect lighthouses...
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    The Falcons Have Flown the Coop

    Volunteers needed. This is a call to YOU! The Canadian Peregrine Foundation will have a fledge watch beginning at the Burlington/Hamilton Liftbridge soon. If you have a few hours to spare, please join us to help this threatened species. All over our cities, young Peregrine Falcons will be...
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    Save Canada's Lighthouses Petition

    Lots of interest in protecting surplus lighthouses OTTAWA Parks Canada says it expects about 350 lighthouses will be nominated to receive heritage designations. Norman Shields, the department's manager of the heritage lighthouse program, says it has received petitions to protect lighthouses...
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    A Sad Groaner

    Once upon a time there was a very handsome male camel with two huge camel humps. He fell in love and married a beautiful female camel who had one perfect camel hump. As time progressed, they became the proud parents of a wonderful baby camel who had no humps. They contemplated long and hard...
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    The Falcons Have Flown the Coop

    Today was banding day. Anne Yagi, Biologist with the Ministry of Natural Resources performed the banding. We are happy to report that we have 3 healthy boys. Statistics are as follows: Jimmy - Black Band 83/Y - wearing a green band on his right leg - weighing 669 grams - 24 days old. Port...
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    Save Canada's Lighthouses Petition

    Without you, it could be lights out for Canada's lighthouses. The Government of Canada owns hundreds of iconic lighthouses like the one above - but earlier this year, it declared more than 500 of them - including many of the most historic ones - as "surplus." That means many of these important...
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