Search results

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate. 2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. 3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but I wasn't suited for...

I am sure some of you would like to see this video. It is a long download but worth the wait. Do lots of multitasking while waiting. :) http://vimeo.com/22031635

It looks like these coyotes are getting bolder now. This happened in Whitby recently. "WHITBY, Ont. - Durham regional police say a coyote snatched a small dog from someone's front lawn in Whitby, just east of Toronto. Police say the man who owned the dog was on his front steps Wednesday night...

I'm older than dirt Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?' 'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him. 'All the food was slow.' 'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?' 'It was a place called 'at home,' I...

How old is Easport Drive now?

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Ottawa. Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened? What's the hold-up?" "Terrorists have kidnapped Michael Ignatieff, Dalton McGuinty, Jack Layton...

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left...

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing. Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder.' The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a...

A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the bath- room. She said yes. When he went to wipe his Bum there was no toilet paper so, he used his hand. When he got back to class, his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?" The boy said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand...

Marriage is like a deck of cards.................... In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end.............. you'll wish you had a club and a spade.

My wish for 2011 is for a fat bank account & a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year.

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR... If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull .... But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus and...

Very powerful poem. Why Wear A Poppy? By: Blair Leger 'Please wear a poppy', the lady said and held one forth, but I shook my head. Then I stopped and watched as she offered them there, And her face was old, and lined with care; But beneath the scars the years had made There remained a...

Symptoms: 1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. done that! 2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail ! that too! Scotto can vouch for me doing this one. :laugh2: 3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. yep! 4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you...

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. 'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't...

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar And stared up at the TV. The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story Of a man on the ledge of a large building Preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you...

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . On the morning of her Birthday...

I was just looking at the vintage postcard site and it showed a Brant Hotel on the beach. Does anyone know more history of this building?

Halloween is coming! A man is walking home alone late one foggy night... when behind him he hears: Bump.... BUMP... BUMP.... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP...