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A man is stopped by the police at midnight and asked where he’s going. “I’m on the way to listen to a lecture about the effects of alcohol and drug abuse on the human body.” The policeman asks, “Really? And who’s going to give a lecture at this time of night?” “My wife”, comes the reply.

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.' She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Here is a cute joke for the holiday. :) http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_784S7B3_0_Y/SwbB3AdwMRI/AAAAAAAADUs/RAO5aMzhetA/s1600/Turkey.bmp

When the buildings were built on the strip, how many were used as cottages and how many were perm. houses?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-s0fL7FYh0 Got to love animals. :)

I'm asking for it for this one. :laugh2: A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What...

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She is called Five Horses." The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?" The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean... NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!

An American tourist asks a Newfoundlander: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" The Newfoundlander replies: "If they fell forward they'd still be in the boat"

We have a new one going door to door called "Just Energy". When I answered the door she showed her badge so I said I wasn't interested and closed the door. I don't even give them a chance to say anything.

Qt Pies on Melvin near Parkdale is closing down at the end of the month for good. I guess the economy took it's toll on this business too.

Only the one in the middle is a real person. The other 4 are puppets. http://tupper62.multiply.com/video/item/19

A Georgia Congressman was seated next to a little girl on the airplane leaving from Atlanta when he turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.' The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it...

Fred wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. He forced...

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a...

A son asked his mother the following question: 'Mum, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies: 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.' The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father. 'Dad why are wedding...

The person I had doing these jobs vanished on me. I am semi disabled now and unable to do these things. I need someone to cut my grass and snow removal when needed. This can be done on the weekends and in the evenings. I live in the northeast end on the Parkdale and Bayfront bus routes. There...

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment

Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' A Flash Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker Ringo Starr --- I Get By With A Little Help From Depends The Bee Gees -- - How Can You Mend A Broken Hip Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face Johnny Nash...

Michael Ignatieff was invited to address a major gathering of the Indian Nation in British Columbia recently. He spoke for almost an hour on his future plans for increasing every First Nation's present standard of living if he were elected Prime Minister. He assured them he was always urging...

This site sure is interesting. It shows complaints on companies. http://www.complaintsboard.com/